dni if:

• you think that no one likes lemon starbursts
• you prefer nietzsche over max stirner
• you think feminine men are weird
• you refer to online artists/streamers/youtubers/tiktokers as "content creators"
• you see yourself in patrick bateman (in a positive way)
• you have ever had a hamilton phase
• you think you're not susceptible to being indoctrinated into a cult while having views/morals/values that you hold in high regard
• you use the word "fetishize" to refer solely to sex or sexuality
• you care about how people at the met gala are dressed
• you make fun of men's heights
• you assume that i'm insecure about my height because of the previous point
• you ignore people you have a problem with instead of talking to them
• you have read the catcher in the rye on your own time
• your sense of humor consists of making "why are all (group of people you legitimately dislike) (broad generalization)" statements
• you're really into star wars
• you think that you're too deep for most people to understand
• you get bored by art films with no plot
• you refer to any online subculture past present or future as "revolutionary"
• you think any of the characters in genshin impact are sexually attractive
• you stan and/or try to emulate a celebrity
• you like any internet aesthetic that ends in “core” or “academia”
• you think looking at what corporations are doing is an accurate way of gauging what is socially acceptable
• you thought the "no bitches"/"no maidens" meme was funny when it was going around
• you give vague advice about something you're adept at without elaboration and expect other people to understand it
• you pretend that something is obtuse even though you can understand it perfectly fine because you don't like it or agree with it
• your favorite yakuza protagonist is either majima or tanimura
• you assume that everybody is a part of a friend group
• you speak with vocal fry
• you have FOMO
• you think clowns are scary
• you believe that furries are an oppressed minority
• your sense of justice is focused on compromise over finding the correct solution
• you learn things from social media, imageboards, or forum posts without checking sources or doing your own research
• you use the word "unironically" when expressing genuine emotions to ensure listeners that you are not joking
• your favorite manga/anime is a popular, long-running shonen series that began in 1995 or later (boku no hero academia, naruto, one piece, demon slayer, etc.)
• you are nostalgic about malls
• you believe that "imposter syndrome" is real
• you have ever felt resentment against people who did not seem to take squid game seriously due to its political themes
• you think that "tradition" or "modernity" are inherently good or bad
• you care about people's tone when they speak
• you regularly listen to any sort of contemporary cultural commentary podcast
• you call characters under 30 dilfs/milfs
• you think that kids in the present day never play outside
• the first thing that comes to your head when you hear anything about japan is something anime-related
• you wear flannel button-up shirts regularly
• your art style consists of soft pastel colors, soft curvy lines, and soft rendering with realistic yet anime-esque features and proportions
• you believe that the best way to fix societal ills is to vote
• you are uncomfortable with the idea of reading nonfiction
• you tell people who are mediocre/amateurs at something that they did a wonderful job at it without providing criticism so they won't be discouraged
• you think that you're different from others because you think that songs with "dark" lyrics can still be catchy
• you pathologize regular behaviors
• you genuinely wish you were a beneficiary of nepotism
• you regularly do/enjoy that egirl big eyes dewey skin disney-esque belle delphine makeup
• you have any "unpopular opinion" that is actually popular
• you think that asking for proof is rude
• you boycotted/are boycotting individual russians/filipinos who are not associated with their governments or small businesses owned by them because of their government's actions
• you do things for people without asking them about it first
• you are a redditor, especially if you regularly participate in any sort of subreddit about an internet personality
• you film/take pictures of strangers in public to post online
• you dress in a specific way so people will assume that you have a specific quality (intelligence, depth, creativity, etc.) or because it projects a specific "fantasy"
• you listen to nicole dollanganger, phoebe bridgers, dorian electra, harry styles, taylor swift, jack harlow, bladee, ariana grande post "thank u next", machine gun kelly, hozier, mother mother, that one band with the flaming skull guy, or panic at the disco
• good old fashioned lover boy by queen is one of your favorite songs
• you have a strong opinion about whether dogs or cats are "better"
• you learned everything you know about a particular japanese fashion subculture through tiktok
• you like character dynamics where one of them embarrasses/teases the other all the time and the other is easily embarrassed
• you agree with the following sentence: "some things are beyond logic or reason, you just have to feel them"
• you have ever quoted vines out loud, even when vine was still running
• you think that people blocking you is an accomplishment
• you mention having been a gifted kid in grade school a year or more after graduating
• you think that ironic detachment is a measure of intelligence
• at least 85% of your favorite paintings/drawings/photos are of naked or scantily clad women
• you are unwilling to take responsibility for your actions
• you can't stand bad grammar or syntax in non-professional settings
• you like those tops/dresses with corset bodices and poofy off-the-shoulder sleeves
• you think that the movie jojo rabbit was well-written
• you take generation labels (gen z, millennial, boomer, etc) seriously
• you purposefully got the ferdinand/dorothea ending in fire emblem: three houses
• you recommend books, tv shows, movies, or games based off of the identities of the characters or creator(s) without giving a synopsis of the story
• you refuse to give advice because you're afraid people will take your "thing" away from you
• you believe the exact opposite of what's popular only because it's the exact opposite of what's popular
• you believe in what's popular out of social obligation
• you believe that criticism impedes creativity
• you believe that adults should only have "mature" interests
• you believe that gatekeeping is always bad regardless of the circumstances
• you like bucket hats
• you assume that we are "connected" because we have one inherent attribute in common
• your response to internet privacy concerns is "i'm not worried because i have nothing to hide"
• you believe in matchmaking based on astrology, mbti, enneagram, or any other personality categorization system
• you believe or have ever believed that the "20 year trend cycle" is real
• you stop being friends with people because they give you "bad vibes" in a way that is not potentially dangerous to your physical or mental health
• you say "why is no one talking about this" about anything, even if people are actually not talking about it
• you watched morbius because of the memes
• you are between the ages of 18-45 and consider yourself to be "old"
• you prefer regency over victorian
• you are a "theatre kid"
• you are a digicore producer
• you are deeply invested in at least one american live action television series (including netflix/amazon/hulu originals) that began airing in 2016 or later
• you have ever participated in a fandom zine that was not distributed for free
• you are from the city or a suburb and fantasize about maintaining a farm in the country
• you get all your news from social media
• you talk during movies in movie theatres
• you think that every small event is emblematic of your conception of the "attitudes" of larger society
• wanderer above the sea of fog by caspar david friedrich is one of your favorite paintings
• you have a regular substack column with patrons
• you consider yourself to be "blackpilled"
• you think that scene originated in the early 2000s
• you don't read anything that contradicts your viewpoint aside from skimming it to look for things that you think are stupid or harmful
• you refer to kids and teenagers as "minors" in non-professional settings
• you only take on things that will help you become a better person for the sake of attracting a sexual/romantic partner
• you smile at people you come across in public and get upset when they don't smile back
• you have or are planning to get an undercut
• you watch political streamers on twitch
• you think that editing and reposting posts more than once is weird
• you respond to genuine criticism with irony
• you think there is no homosexual subtext in moby dick
• you "practice mindfulness"
• you think that your biggest flaw is that you're too kind, you're too shy, or that you "give too much" to other people
• you enjoy pov or self-insert fiction
• you enjoy fanfiction where the characters sing a song of some sort, especially if the author types out the lyrics of the song that they're singing
• you would care if i revealed to you that i've never played a zelda game
• you pay for netflix/disney+/any other streaming service
• you would eat chocolate hummus if given the chance